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365 08 21 22

i've seen these brightened eyes in olden times;
eyes that only lighten from ballets
from light to light my fire may spread
lest i turn to cinders, my milieu ablaze.

300 06 17 22

無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 境
無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 境
無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 境 境
無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 境 境
無 無 無 無 無 無 無 無 境 境 境
無 無 無 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境
無 無 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境
無 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境
無 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境
境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境
境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境 境

200 03 09 22a sleet of wings ran down my back
and a corsage of red broke down my nape
when i realized who i was.i am the blank, my forever empty.i am the space between
the blood and the asphaltthe being, the center of the shattered intersectionin wonder, an angel, a watcher, in halos.i am the ever echo in the blinding stasis of death
and the whispers of comfort in the minds of tears.fingers interlocked, halo ever glowing,i choked its ring around your neck,
i bring you into my domain.and so, in everything i say,i am the blank, my forever empty.and everything else,
forever be damned.

100 11 29 21across the river it was like a
whirlpoolit was like a
fractala gaze that had
met minewithin 1 second a
gaze of
100 poems100 daysand 100 moreand 1000 moreand 10000 forever more

if you look around for long enough, out there on Wikipedia is a photo of a US Navy helicopter flying through Sendai, following the aftermath of the 2011 Great East Japan Earthquake. look long and hard at it. notice how the water just drowns whole neighborhoods, leaving no seal or crack undrowned, with gravity having no mercy to anyone who just so happened to be beneath the waves. the black and sickened smoke trails signifying that something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. the vantage point painting houses and neighborhoods as tiny, destructible things.in the same way this photo is a harrowing reminder of our fragility, this album has the same message. the lingering riffs and slow, dreading depth of this album puts you in the shoes of a human who, for the first time, truly realizes the frailty of the life it always knew. the sheer length of this album, the way the first part drones on and on, serves to cement the feeling of scale. it's the feeling of being small, standing right before a gargantuan world larger than any life there is.undoubtedly however, this album's true highlight is the third part. flood part 3 is the culmination of the dread, anxiety, and listlessness that part 1 and 2 cultivate over the course of 30 minutes. it is the shadow of the waves slowly consuming any light within its way, followed by the waves crashing and decimating the ground beneath, portrayed by a wall of sound that is as awe-inspiring as it is soul crushingly humbling. this wall continues to come crashing down repeatedly over the remaining 11 minutes of the track, with a musical passage that assaults and crushes the listener again, again, again, and again.by part 4, things have ultimately been submerged, drowned and consumed by the waters in the same way Sendai was, leaving no seal or crack undrowned, and that without mercy. slowly, things die as the album fades out into silence. the sound of helicopters and rescue fill the final 10 minutes of this album.remember how small we are.10 out of 10 — ★★★★★

BORIS
FLOOD
2000REVIEW FROM RYM
WRITTEN BY blixys 2023

if someone were to ask me what my favorite album was, loveless would be my pick. separate from critical acclaim, this is an album i hold near and dear, and surprisingly so.it's not often i see an album so equally weighted in pacing. other albums like sweet trip's v:d:c, while undoubtedly innovative and a landmark in sound design, weigh most of its pacing on dsco.*--
APPENDAGE 2022.05.02
after an assessment of the album, i found tracks like chocolate matter, design 2 : 3, pro : lov : ad, among others, were highly underrated. dsco is not the peak of the album; design 2 : 3 is.
--this makes [v:d:c] as a whole somewhat hard to digest at times (although it is heartily well worth a shot).this is not the case for loveless.akin to a sizzling, nearly dizzying hot bath, the album's sound throughout renders the listener both profoundly shaken and profoundly warmed. its runtime is always in constant swing; pacing always in that mildly uncomfortable, almost intimate back and forth, back and forth. the themes of a distorted, almost stockholm-like love (as seen in tracks like 'when you sleep') ring throughout its runtime, making it so radically heart wrenching that it renders itself one of the most emotional albums i have ever heard.as an example, let's look at 'sometimes'. while simple, the track is arguably the most crushing track on the album. its guitar is both sweetly embracing yet so distant. you are trying to find solace in a bed that comforts you, but you are met with silence, and deafeningly so. it is one of the more stand-out songs in the album however it fits quite well.of course, this album is not for everyone. its walls of effects and wailing guitars have a specific target audience, alienating everyone else quite violently. even i wasn't keen on first listen, but over time, i sunk myself lower into the work and fell head over heels with it. when you're lonely, in bed, and blast this, it has a profound effect on you.please give this album a shot.thank you10 out of 10 — ★★★★★

MY BLOODY VALENTINE
LOVELESS
1991
SIRE RECORDSREVIEW FROM RYM
COVER ART BY ANGUS CAMERON
WRITTEN BY blixys 2022

(ADDENDUM 05/26/23: what was he cooking?)when i was a child, i was a perfectionist. in 6th grade toiling and stressing way too much over essays, in 8th grade powering through the worst of thoughts to finish one assignment, straight A's often lined my report cards. but of course, you know where this is going. people say that i'm something else, a glimmer of hope in this box of boredom, gifted and smart and special... you know the drill.sometimes i like to think that. that i'm unique. that i'm special, i'm someone else, and not like the others. maybe you are too, and in that case i feel you. i get you.
but when you're faced with reality, that isn't the case.to thousands of people, you and i were just anonymous people that were passersby, strangers on a bus, the sidewalk, students you'll never meet that rush by you that liminal space between classes. you may feel like the main character among supporting cast, but so does everyone else.even than, that feeling isn't special. that simile isn't unique either.
it's sonder.if that's the case, then what if, of what?but maybe that just means.. we're not so different, you and i. both of us think that we're the main character... maybe then there's a connection.
maybe in that way, we are human.
frank ocean was right. we all want to be "seen, touched, heard, paid attention to." we all want someone to be there for us, and surprisingly, we all want to be there for someone else too. that's what sympathy and empathy are.look at the person next to you, on the street, at a bus, in a hallway. they have a story to tell you. their life is full of happiness, sadness, loves, deaths, feelings and emotions and works that immerse them in a complex plot and story... the fact that there are almost 8 billion of us is almost mind-bending.i once had a conversation with a person who was a friend of my friend. we were almost strangers, but he acted as if i wasn't.
for some reason, he told me everything.he told me stories of his darkest thoughts, his darkest dreams and most needed of desires, secrets that only an insane man would tell another soul... it leaves an impression on you.he told me of a summer night when a friend shook him violently, grabbed him by the shoulders seething onto his shirt, yelling and crying not to jump.
he told him everything too,
he was suicidal.
maybe everyone has an 'everything' to tell.--i know i've addressed you, the reader, many a time. but this was something swelling up from myself. this is something that i've been dying to write down... whether or not the reader has made this far is a worry for another time.in a few years time, i know i won't be able to read this. i know i won't, i'd probably be changed by then. maybe i'd delete it by impulse, maybe i'd laugh at my naivete... but that doesn't matter. that is a worry for another time.maybe i'm just straight up stupid. i'm young, naive, and is a kid finding things obvious for the first time. i'd be hard-pressed to find you still listening or reading, but again, that doesn't matter, in this moment, in this time.
that is a worry for another time.
these are my thoughts. this is what i've been thinking about, thank you for being there to listen to my 'everything'.so let me ask you... what's yours?-blixys, sweet dreams, as always.

ICON 144
there is a solace in the void of the ceiling fan going round and roundPHOTOGRAPH BY blixys 2022
WRITTEN BY blixys 2022